Do you know Kate?

I know, and am friends with many people in the “entertainment” industry. Actors, actresses, directors, screenwriters, editors, producers, playwrights, singers, songwriters, bands, etc…

I also watch a lot of movies, some television and pretty much anything I can find on Netflix or Amazon Prime. If any of my friends are acting in, have written, produced or been involved in one way or another a project, I watch them and as often as I can, plug their projects.

I recently started watching This Is Us through my On Demand with my cable company. I’d never seen even a bit of it, had no idea what it was about, and I think at some point I actually wondered if it was like other ensemble television shows that I didn’t enjoy.

But I love it! I’m actually binge-watching several episodes each night to catch up to the new episodes that started back again last night. Now, I’m bringing all of this up not because I have ran out of weight-loss things to discuss…on the contrary. It is this show that has me wanting to write to you tonight.

If you have never seen the show, I encourage you – if you’re able – to give it a view. If you have seen it, especially if you really enjoy it, you’ll have a better understand of where I’m coming from with this post.

One of the main characters in this series is Kate (played by the stunning and talented Chrissy Metz). The other characters are wonderful as well – I’m especially fond of Randall – but it’s Kate that I resonate with the most.

This is Chrissy Metz. Stunning.

74th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

The reason it’s so significant is simply because there is a lack of characters like Kate on any show right now.  You see, Kate is obese. She’s not a little overweight, and I’m not exaggerating her size – Kate is obese.

Think about many of the shows you watch (even movies). How many have obese women on them? Probably not that many. Is that because obese women aren’t talented and can’t act? I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s likely for a couple of reasons. Much of society finds obese men and women to be unattractive and the networks, producers and such (most of them, not all), want to fill your television screens with attractive people. Is this because they think we’re all too sensitive and wouldn’t be able to handle seeing obese actors and actresses (and don’t get me started on the double-standard that men can be obese and it’s not seen as harshly than if it’s a woman)? Do they think that obese people cannot act? Is it unrealistic to expect that television serials based on “real life” characters would actually have some different shapes, sizes, colors etc?

Yes, there have seen some women of size on television. Melissa McCarthy comes to mind. What I find interesting is that her character – Molly – did the entire “I’m fat” things during the series: struggled with her weight, weightloss, joined a weight loss support group etc. Yes, that’s part of that “real life” I mentioned about but I’m also wondering why. Why does an over-weight character on a television show have to even address her size? or the struggles of a fat person?

I ask this because it seems to be a pigeon-hole for over-weight women on television series. Of course, that’s if there are any over-weight women on a television series. There really aren’t that many. But I digress…

Kate on This Is Us is obese and like those pigeon-hole items I mention above, she struggles with losing weight, getting healthy, dealing with self-esteem issues, and generally struggles every day with many of the things that I do. I felt an instant connection to Kate. From the first episode where she stands naked (save for her panties) and fights to step on the scale, I felt a kinship to her. I saw the back of her body. I saw her rolls of fat. I saw myself and my first thought was – my God but that actress is brave. And then I thought, thank you to the producers, writers, and everyone else on the show for bringing this character to us.

Four episodes in, Kate has already dealt with many things that I have. In one, she’s at a party, one she originally didn’t want to go because of her self-esteem issues. The man she’s just started to see – Toby – is a clown-and-a-half and he convinces her to go. And for a brief time (before the booze), she feels happy – until she “sees” people laughing at her, talking about her. Now it can be perceived that she is imagining it, or that people really are laughing and talking about her. But I get her. Man, do I get her.

Most times when I go out in public, if I’m alone, I am always imagining people are staring at me, talking about me…and can run through all the dialogue I think they are saying out loud or thinking. Am I imagining it completely? Sure, sometimes. I do, after all, have an over-active imagination. And I don’t really consider myself to be so important that I imagine that I’m the talk of the town. But there are time, I know – I’ve heard them – where people are talking rude about me and staring. So, at that moment in the episode – I felt it. I knew exactly what Kate was feeling and thinking.

I’ve said before that while many people can sympathize with me about the struggles of dealing with my weight, many cannot empathize. And as I’ve said before, if someone has to lose 20, 30 or even 50 pounds – their struggles are just as real as other’s are – but it’s also very hard for them to truly understand what it’s like to be this obese.

So while yes, Kate is a fictional character, the writers have written a very real person. A person that is showing others some of the struggles I face all the time – whether they be physical ones or mental ones. And while she won’t break down many stereotypes or prejudices against obese people, I’m hoping she will open some eyes to the fact that we’re not all lazy and fat, eat 25,000 calories a day and are unclean. The people that think like that – the people who think ugly things about anyone, whether they be obese, mentally challenged or any other physical challenges, or even just because they are bigoted and ignorant – those people rarely have their minds changed.

I don’t know where the writers will go with the character of Kate – but I do hope they continue to be honest and true to her character – her struggles and all. There are far too few “real” characters on television nowadays – she’s a breath of fresh air.

Sending peace, love and joy to all…







A 5 pound bag of potatoes

Someday (maybe) I will actually finish things I start. Oh who am I kidding – I am not even sure what that means. I have little ceramic Christmas ornaments that we bought and painted for a baby shower when my cousin Anne was pregnant with my now-Goddaughter Kayla. We had several left over and I said, “I’ll paint the rest and keep them for myself.”

Kayla is now 26 years old.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t want to finish things. It’s not that I don’t like whatever it is I’m working on so that’s why I don’t finish. Most of the time I’m really into it when I’m doing it. But it fades. Sometimes remarkably fast. I can’t explain it. I’ve tried. It’s been suggested to me that this hamster-filled head of mine becomes bored with things easily, even if it’s something that I really like to do. It makes sense really. There are some nights when I find myself so restless with not being able to find something to “keep me busy”, that I feel like I’m losing my mind. It probably doesn’t help that I’m alone – with two cats.

Usually at some point I get back around to something I was working on and finish it. Sometimes. Unless we’re talking about ceramic Christmas ornaments. I’ve been spending a lot of time around my house “downsizing”. Last weekend I found a box of wax. Yes, you read that correctly. A box of wax. How many of you can say that? I also found a box of uncleaned stamps – that is, over the years cutting around unique stamps on letters received at the office for my collection and putting them in a box to later be cleaned off of the envelopes.

I also have what I like to call “the closet from Hell” which has all the containers I moved from my last place and haven’t even opened or touched since I moved into this current house – 6 years ago. What’s in it? Your guess is as good as mine.

If I had to guess though, I would say that it likely contains the following:

  • those pesky unfinished ceramic Christmas ornaments
  • candle making supplies (to go with my box of wax)
  • cross-stitch kits
  • soap making supplies
  • a wood-burning kit
  • craft paints and pieces of wood
  • yarn (I don’t know how to knit or crochet)
  • molding clay
  • beads

Well you get the point. I have no doubt that once I get to “downsizing” the closet from Hell that I will find things I wasn’t even aware I still had. It will be like Christmas all over again!

Bear with me, please…I am actually heading somewhere with this. So my point is that while I love to “do crafts”, I’m not particularly good at them but they were fun to do and kept me busy (and therefore, my hands out of the chip bags). They also kept my mind busy. While I was doing them, I wasn’t worrying about the crap in my life that was causing me stress. I wasn’t thinking about all the projects at work I was falling behind because of the limited help I had. I wasn’t thinking about how my ex-husband had “done me wrong” (and subsequently my real willingness to somehow precipitate his life to implode, but I refrained). And I wasn’t thinking about how absolutely alone I felt most of the time.

And yet, invariably as with everything else, I grew tired of these things. They couldn’t keep my interest. I’m not sure how someone can enjoy doing something and become “bored” with it – but that’s basically what happened. Even now, having not touched any of those projects, I still have things that I’ve started and haven’t finished or I’ve put aside for another day and haven’t gotten back to them, like my family tree project or worse, the writing of my novels.  I’m not even sure what ever possessed me to buy a paint-by-number two weeks ago while in Michaels.


But I have to be honest here. It actually upsets me that I can’t keep the interest up in anything. Including my writing. I had the intention of finishing my current book Kiwi Kiss before the end of the year. I have ten chapters done. I’ve had ten chapters done now for 4 damn years. I love the story. I love the characters. When I’m reading it over in order to get motivated to pick up where I left off, I remember how much I love the story and the characters. I will even think about it during the day at work and think to myself: when I get home I want to write for an hour or two. But then I get home and I don’t touch it. I might even decide to watch a movie and 10 minutes in find I’m not that interested in it – even if it’s one of my favorite movies. Or I’ll listen to music for a while, or play a game on the computer, and then get restless and move onto something else. Some nights, I don’t find anything to keep my mind and hands busy, and that’s when I get that sense of going out of my mind.

So just with all of the above, I struggle to keep up with all of the things I have to do to lose weight. Keep a food diary – what you eat and how much – is always recommended by whomever I speak with about my struggles. And I might do it for a day or two, but then I stop. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, as a kid when the rage was to have a little diary with a little lock and key, I would write in it – keep in mind I LOVE to write – but after a few days, I’d become bored and stop. Sure, I’d go back to it in a few weeks or months, but in the end, I’d just stop.

Other times I am in the grocery store and I have my healthy food list. I buy everything on my list with the intention of making some good-for-me meals. I might even have gone so far as to pick out recipes of some meals I want to make and have bought the things I need to make them. And I don’t. I might make one that day – while the enthusiasm is higher, but usually I end up throwing out a lot of expensive food.

And this bothers me. Greatly.

Some might say it’s laziness. Dr. S has said it’s not that. That I’m not lazy.

I sometimes would refer to myself as lazy for why I can’t just get up and exercise, but the truth is that I have ZERO energy most days. Even with sitting on my ass all day at work, by the time I get home, I’m so mentally exhausted from the stress and over-loading at work that I’m physically exhausted. I know that some people won’t believe that and might say that I am indeed lazy. And maybe in some ways, sometimes, I just might be, but I don’t have the answers to how I can find that energy. How can I find it so that I can get up and exercise?

Do you know that on a weekend when I decide I am going to do some housework that I actually have to plan out what to do and when? That I have to account for my feet giving out on me quickly and the pain being too much to remain on them for very long (both because of my weight but also the numbness in my feet) so I have to make sure I had plenty that I can do while sitting? That I know that many times I will have to sit anyway, not because of my feet but because of my lower back and the pain I feel there?

Now I’ve said this from the beginning of starting this blog – nothing I say here is in any way an attempt to gain your sympathies or your pity. I’m well aware that I’m in this situation because of my own actions – not anyone else’s – so I don’t write this to cry and whine about my awful situation. Sometimes I’m sure it sounds like it, but I do so more so that you all have a bit more of an understanding of what I’m going through, and I hope – I pray – none of you or anyone you love ends up like this. That you’ll catch yourself before you get this far. Because it’s a horrible way to live your life. And because it’s a horrible way to end your life.

So back to my previous comments…

It’s a physical struggle for me every day to just move. To then have to do things such as take out the garbage, clean the house, walk up some stairs, or even just do the dishes – there is a constant struggle to push myself in order that I not just give up. To not sit down and think “why bother?”

This is what I recently told my cousin Linda, who is also struggling with getting motivated:

I will tell you that one thing that has worked for me that I just need to get consistent with is to try to do a little at a time. So for example, I’m tired and don’t feel like cooking dinner or doing the dishes. I talk to myself for several minutes. I remind myself why I need to get up and do it. I tell myself that it’ll be good if I just do one thing. So I talk to myself until I feel like it’s a good idea to get up and I go and do it. Then I talk to myself again and congratulate myself on doing that one thing. Then i say, why don’t you try x next…maybe take a short break, read a chapter or something (non-food related) and then go and do x. Sometimes I have to spend a few minutes to talk myself into it again but sometimes I love that I feel proud of myself so I just get up and do it. So I start small and just build up, making sure that I remind myself how good I’m going, how good I’ll feel because I did something and honestly it really works.

And this really does work for me. Not all the time but most times. It’s why I’ve been able to clean more around my house and “downsize” recently. The reason I’ve found boxes of stamps and wax. The reason I’ve felt less “lazy” and more like I am actually accomplishing something rather than just sitting around and feeling useless.

Many of you won’t understand this struggle but for those of us who are living it, it’s small things like that that make us want to keep going. It’s our reason to not give up. Baby steps.

So after all of this gibber-jabber, the one thing I wanted to talk about was more of a “picture this” game I want to play with you right now.

Whatever your weight is right now, I’ll assume that most of you are of average weight. Even those of you who are a bit over-weight will “see” where I’m going with this. So here goes:

Imagine a 5 pound bag of potatoes (or whatever you’re used to that would be a 5 pound bag of something that you can easily picture). Pick up that 5 pound bag and put it on your back. Now if you are of a bigger frame, you might not notice the extra 5 pounds of weight. Those of you who are smaller surely would.

Now add another 5 pound bag. Ten pounds of extra weight on your frame. Are you noticing it now? Are you feeling the difference that 10 pounds makes? Do your joints hurt more? Your knees? Maybe your lower back?

Now add another 5 pound bag. That’s 15 extra pounds. How do you think you feel now? Studies show that even a gain in 5-15 pounds can increase your blood pressure.

Now imagine if you had 50 extra pounds – 10 extra bags of potatoes. What about 100 – 20 more bags? 150?

If you’ve ever gained any weight, even a small amount, you can tell can’t you? Not just because your clothes are suddenly tighter but because you feel it when you walk, or when you climb the stairs. You might even have gained enough to get winded walking up a slight incline. Or maybe you feel sluggish with absolutely zero energy to do anything, even to walk. Your knees ache, your feet hurt to the point of tears and your back screams in pain.

Now imagine how it would feel if you had over 200 extra pounds on your body. That’s FORTY bags of 5# potatoes. Forty.

Do you think that if someone put you in a bodysuit that weighed more than 200 pounds that you could even stand up in it, let alone walk? Do you think you could drive a car, walk through a mall, climb a set of stairs?

Can you imagine?  Most can’t. It’s hard to imagine anyone being even able to move with that much weight on them. But I do it. Every day. And it’s painful. It’s a struggle to fight both the pain and the amount of energy it takes to do the simplest of things. But I do them.

Every day.

And for all that, for my size/weight, I’m actually fairly mobile. And I struggle all the time so I can’t even imagine getting so bad that I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed. And one of the thoughts that keeps me from ever allowing myself to get that much worse is that I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. And if you are so big that you can’t get out of bed – that’s exactly what happens and suddenly you need help to even go to the bathroom. And I don’t want to be like that. I want to cry just thinking about it.

So I desperately need to get rid of those forty 5# bags of potatoes.

I’m not sure at what point I will really feel the difference. How much weight loss will it take to feel more energetic where just taking out the garbage isn’t a work-out, leaving me out of breath and gasping for air? How much weight loss will it take where my knees don’t feel like they are going to give out when I’m walking across the parking lot?

Again, I didn’t do this exercise to get sympathy – but I did want to share an idea of what it’s like for someone like me to carry around this amount of weight – both on my body and my mind – and how it definitely does contribute to not only my over-all health risks but also to my physical capabilities – or in-capabilities in most cases. I wanted to give you a glimpse to why I struggle every day and how – and why I really, desperately need to do this. And why I really really need your help to do so.

And why it’s not necessarily that I’m “lazy” but I just can’t always push my body to move because there’s just too much of it.

See what happens when I don’t write often enough? You get a very long-winded post. 🙂  So sorry!  But I do hope you enjoyed it and have been given some further insight into my situation and those others who struggle every day with trying to put their life back on the right track.

Your continued support means the world to me. I can’t thank you enough.

Love and blessings to all.

Dani xo

The Struggle is REAL

I’ve been remiss at posting this past week. I can’t really say for sure why. Six days have passed and while I’ve thought about this blog, I haven’t have the inclination to write anything. I thought about what to write. I thought about what not to write. I even thought about writing about not knowing what to write about next.

Bottom line is that I didn’t write. For this I apologize.

So here I am and I’m doing everything I can to come to terms with the fact that the struggle is real. I wrote exactly one week ago about that dreaded moment when I would finally gain weight because I stepped on that damn heart-breaking, soul-crushing scale and had gained a pound and a half. At that time, I tried hard to not let that gain get to me. To see it as a minor set back. To remember how good I’ve done so far. To rationalize all the reasons from which the gain may have resulted, and what I can do better this week. But more importantly, to not see myself as a failure.

I’m not sure why but I hadn’t prepared myself for the possibility that I might actually have another gain the following week. Was I so convinced that it was a fluke? That it wasn’t significant enough to even sweat about? I’d been on such a high from my success that I almost had a false sense of…let’s say…security, that fighting to see it as such an insignificant event in the grand scheme of things, that I really wasn’t prepared for another gain. And I have no idea why. This isn’t my first merry-go-round with weight loss. I’m not so blinded by the small success that I’ve had that I would think I wouldn’t ever have another gain.

So I’m not sure why I was so surprised – and utterly disappointed in myself – that I not only had another gain this week, but this time it was 2.5 pounds I gained.

So even though I’ve only gained weight in the past two weeks, it sets me back to what I weighed on September 14 (I started this blog on the 5th), which means technically that in 35 days, I haven’t lost anything but 35 days.

The struggle is real.

I was so proud of myself for not letting the 1.5 pound gain really get to me too. I thought I was possibly “over the hump” of berating myself for my “failures”. Turns out I was wrong.

Now I haven’t been sitting here berating myself. I haven’t called myself any names. Yet. So I guess it’s a small victory in that aspect as months ago I would have spent a couple of days doing just that to myself. But it hasn’t prevented me from feeling the disappointment in myself for not trying harder, knowing some of the things I did wrong, and just working that much harder to overcome them.

I’m disappointed that instead of “Keep trying” I don’t just “do it”. I can keep trying for the rest of my life and realize that it doesn’t mean I’ll have anything to show for it. Yet I don’t know how to just “do it”. It sounds simple enough. I’ve put it in my other blogs. Eat Less. Exercise More.

Simple right?  Yet I just can’t seem to do it.

Last Thursday and Friday I was able to reach and exceed my daily steps limit on my fitbit (a lowly pathetic 3600 steps which is about 1.5 miles and all my poor feet can usually bear), despite that I have had one of the sores I get from calcium build-up on them sometimes that feel like I have little rocks in my shoes – but they’re under the skin. My feet have enough pain in them, especially my toes, that having other issues with them don’t help. So I was happy that despite how much they’ve hurt the past two weeks that I was still able to have 2 days where I exceeded that limit.

That aside, I’m just not sure how to continue fighting those disappointing moments. I think I have them conquered and then BAM!  Nope, I guess I didn’t really. So I really need to figure out the mental side of this dilemma – knowing I’m going to have not-so-good weeks. Admittedly, I know 2.5 pounds isn’t horrific either. But while I’m not very good at math, when I see that two gains in a row equals 35 days gone by and I feel I’m starting over – AGAIN – it’s both disheartening and frustrating.

But I won’t sit here and berate myself about it. I’m just going to have to learn to move past those times. Though honestly I have no idea how. Saying something and doing it are two totally different things and that applies across the entire board on this journey – from knowing what I’m doing wrong and needing to fix it – to how to actually fix those things I’m doing wrong.


Maybe I’m a Raving Loon after all.

Blessings to all with love and peace.

Dani xo

Is ignorance bliss?

I don’t think I want to talk about this particular subject for too long, but you know with me, it’s hard to say how it’ll turn out.

To start, I’ve moved on from the shocking verbal attack on Tuesday night. Those vile, pathetic excuses for human beings only briefly accomplished what I can only assume is their attempt to belittle and frighten an innocent person who was unlucky enough to cross their path. Perhaps they knock little old ladies down and steel candy from babies – I don’t know. And I don’t care. They had their affect on me and it’s done. I’m over it and I survived – as I knew I would.

I’d like to thank everyone for their kind words and messages of concern, and for those of you who sent prayers. They are all very much appreciated and is a good reason for why I’ve already moved on from that ugly moment in my life. As one friend said, “People with dark hearts are blind.” And it’s very true. But it also leads me to my next question:

Is ignorance bliss?

You’ve all heard that expression before I’m sure. More and more in the age of the Internet, people are choosing to speak. To say something – anything – online whether it be in response to someone’s blog, a post for a news article, someone’s Tweet. Whatever. And here’s the rub:  Maybe they shouldn’t.

Speak that is.

More and more I’ve finding myself completely in surprise at the ignorance of others out there in this cyber space. Don’t get me wrong. I love the internet. I love being able to talk to my family and friends with ease through Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media site. I love being able to watch videos of cats, acting reels of my actor friends and even stream my beloved Netflix. And to be able to talk to you fine people.

In some ways, the internet saved me. When I first split up with my ex-husband it was first time in my life – at age 40 – that I was living alone. Virtually alone in a town where I didn’t have really many friends so to speak and far away from my mom, family and my long-time friends. From home. So when I found myself alone, the internet (and tv) were my only real connections to the “world”. And i didn’t feel so alone as much.

What is a mystery to me, however, is how surprised I am at how people behave online. Those anonymous trolling people who will do anything to get arguments started so they can sit back and bask in the fury that follows. Or those that comment on every subject out there as if they have all the answers – and in some cases – the only answers. Those who get into the middle of debates on subjects they really have no business joining, whether it be political or sociological. And then there are those who no matter what the subject, try to steer the conversations over to their agenda. I see this a lot with blaming President Obama for everything that’s wrong in the U.S. Of course, he couldn’t possibly have inherited a ridiculous debt from the previous President…but I digress (and am not getting political here whatsoever!)…

But yes, freedom of speech and all that. I, for one, feel that just because you have the freedom to say something (anything), doesn’t mean you should. Most especially if what comes out of your mouth is complete and utter ignorance.

While the definition of “Ignorance is bliss” is: Not knowing something is often more comfortable than knowing it.  (resembles “What you don’t know cannot hurt you.”). In the instance of this post, I’m using it in a manner that more means the ignorant people who actually believe they know the subject well enough that their comments are the epitome of knowledge. 

They believe so inherently in what they are saying that they couldn’t possibly believe they could be wrong. And not only wrong, but so fucking wrong there isn’t even a better word to describe it. Oh there might be some that are close: immoral, iniquitous and reprehensible but no matter what – just wrong.

I’m in no way advocating that I’m, in any sense of the word, an angel. I’m far from perfect and I am wrong often. I’m the first to admit it. I’m also known to be the type of person to not forgive myself very quickly when I am wrong (and I’m working on that too). But I try with every fiber of my being to not profess to know everything about any one given subject or pretend that I do. I do have my opinions and when expressing them, I’m clear they are my opinions only but also I try not to express them without common sense and good judgment. While I’m an amazing actress, there is no getting around ignorance.

So what set this post in motion was this picture that’s circulating around the internet:


J.K. Rowling, the talented writer behind the Harry Potter series, apparently said this. Now it’s clear to me what she is saying here. That of all the things that humans can be (and are), is being FAT really the worse when there is so much worse in the world? I think not.

Now it’s certainly no one else’s business or say in how one person chooses to handle their weight. If someone chooses to remain overweight, that is their call. Their body; their decision. I applaud their acceptance of it, even if I don’t necessarily understand or believe it. But as you know, my choice is to not remain obese and to do something about it. Because I believe that I’m killing myself. And I want to live. And I want to enjoy things that I haven’t been able to enjoy or open the doors to other opportunities that haven’t been available to me because of my weight. And that’s how I feel about me.

But what struck me the most about this picture wasn’t even Ms. Rowling’s comment. Because what she said makes perfect sense to me. Just as my friend said that I mentioned above, people with dark hearts are blind. So no amount of anything I do or say is going to change someone’s mind who is like that. Like those two guys in the dark and pouring rain.

No, what struck me were the comments that people posted about the picture. Again, I’m struck that I am constantly surprised at the ignorance of others, yet I can’t understand how it is that I can still be surprised by anything anymore. Why am I surprised that two strangers verbally assaulted me for no reason? Why do I see articles about photo-shopping photo shoots of celebrities that make them look more waxy and unreal than in real life – where there is absolutely nothing wrong with them to begin with? Why any of these people feel the need to say anything if they can’t say anything nice?

Boggles. The. Mind.

So here are a few excerpts of some of the nearly 4000 comments posted about this picture:

Yes! Fat is the worst thing a human being would be if you end up vindictive, jealous, shallow, vain, boring, evil and cruel because of fat! Tragedy of self issues…

Not to me coz I’m skinny.

Sometimes being fat can cause those other traits to come out. Just saying.

Most fat people are jealous and mean though.

I know lots of fat people that are all of those nasty things! Lots!!

Doesn’t make sense, it’s like saying, “what’s better, taste or sound”, two completely different things.

No, but fat is less attractive naked than those other options!

Oy vey!

And after this is all said and done, you know what I took away from this entire matter: People were so quick to jump in with their comments that they believe to be true and accurate, they missed the entire point to Ms. Rowling’s quote and actually just gave credence to exactly what she said. Instead of many of them saying, “You know what, she’s right? Being fat isn’t nearly as bad as those other things,” they instead showed their ignorance on the subject by being just those things: jealous, shallow, vain, evil and/or cruel.

And stupid. Oh so stupid.

Most even went so far as to get on the debate of us “fat” people taking money out of their pockets because of our excessive need for healthcare because of our weight or that we just need to stop eating and exercise more.

Both of which infuriate me but the latter more so. I can honestly say that if one more person says that to me, I can’t be held responsible for my actions. I’m obese. I’m not stupid. At least I don’t think I am. I’m well aware of what it will take to get healthy and lose weight. But the ignorance of that statement to just stop eating and exercise more sends me to the brink. As if that’s all there is to it. Admittedly, yes, that’s all there is to it. But how many people have said they’re going to do something only to realize that it was much easier to say it than to do it. My “just do it” mantra doesn’t last long enough to be effective.

Obviously if it was easy, there wouldn’t be an obesity problem in many places around the world.

So in some ways, perhaps ignorance is bliss. There appears to be a lot of blissful people out there. But not for the right reasons.

On the flip side, there were a few who “got it” and said so, so I have to give them some acknowledgment as well (I particularly love the last one):

It’s what’s inside that counts!!!

You just made me feel better about being overweight because I know I’m not the other things….

This quote certainly made me stop and think!

Maybe because it’s not the size of your body but the size of your heart!

As you say, fat people can get skinny, idiots are idiots forever!!!

But on a side note, I do want to say that while I am far from perfect in anything, including my writing,  and I am not really the Grammar Nazi, I do really weep for the future of the world when I see how so many people “talk” in their posts. Perhaps it’s just being lazy or doing the “hip” thing these days which seems to be how short can we make words and still make them understood (I’m learning this with the 140 character limit on Twitter), but I find myself struggling to understand what people are saying sometimes by their posts. I won’t even mention the giant run-on sentences with absolutely NO punctuation.


I’ll end this now. So much for not talking extensively about this topic. This really should come as no surprise to any of you faithful readers by now. 🙂

Again, thank you for your continued support, especially on those days when I need a little extra to keep going. You make me want to do better. To keep going. To survive.


Blessings and much love to you all. I’m also sending prayers to some of you who need them right now.


Dani  xo