Monthly Archives: April 2016

Without a struggle, there can be no progress

Those famous words are part of a longer quote by Frederick Douglass. So as to not pull it out of its context, here is the full quote:

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In the end, the intent is still the same. One can’t expect progress, such as losing weight and getting healthy, without a struggle. Without trying. And in most cases, intense struggles. Even some “holy hell I’m never going to get through this” sort of struggles.

And there are times, just like with other instances in our lives, where something just seems to be impossible. That we won’t survive. But you know what? We do.

We survive.

I’ve had my share of some pretty awful things in my life. I remember many times when I though that things just couldn’t get any worse. Later, I’d realize they might have, but even if they did, I always survived.

Of course, as life goes, we know that not everyone believes they are strong enough to get through and they give up. On themselves. On their lives.

And that’s heartbreaking to me.

But for the rest of us, it’s that survival instinct that helps us. We learn from it. It makes us stronger. It proves to ourselves  (and others) that we are not broken. That we aren’t weak, or pathetic, or even useless. It is an enormous testament to the human heart; its drive to keep going, no matter how hard it gets.

And that’s sort of what it’s like to struggle to get healthy and lose weight when you’ve gotten so far out of control.

So while I might bitch and moan about how hard this is, I haven’t given up and I’ve kept going.

Et hoc transibit.

This too shall pass.

As with my many mood swings, I will have my good days and bad. I’ve been learning to not let the bad days take me so far out of the equation that I struggle to get back in. And with each passing day, the struggle – while never really ebbing – does somewhat feel easier. At least for that day. And you know what? That’s pretty great too.

Brandon Auret, whom I’ve mentioned often in other posts and is always so supportive (and it’s very appreciated!), always has the right thing to say to me that gets me going. That tells me to pull up my (literal) big girl panties and get to work. I sometimes feel like he’s the best kind of drill instructor. Imagine a deep, heavily-South African-accented voice telling you (and as I stated in my last post):

Hey chill shit happens we human. Ok!!!
Keep on ……..

To which I reply …keeping on.  And I do. I keep going. I keep on…keeping on. It’s become my motto of sorts. I could also hear him saying:

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But that’s not to say that the things that others have said to me have meant less, or have impacting me less. Every supportive comment is felt deeply and taken to heart. Even those that seem a bit scolding, like an unexpected spanking. It’s all good. It’s all chill.

The biggest take-away from all of it is that if this was easy, everyone would be doing it. And not everyone is. Do I wish it was easier? Sure. For the most part, I’m a bit lazy. But I’ve also learned throughout my life that if you really want something. REALLY want something. You work for it. You work hard for it. Or it’s not worth having.

So as I continue to struggle, I’m finding that my struggles, in part, are helping others. To keep going. To not give up.

To keep on…keeping on.

If I can help someone do that, well, it makes my struggles all the more important to me. And all the more worth every ounce of pain, frustration, heartbreak and heartache I go through. Because I also know that I’m not alone.

I’m never alone.

Blessings to you all.

Love,

Dani

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Keep on…keeping on.

Wow. I am actually shocked to find that I started this blog posting 27 days ago. I am so very sorry that I’m not very consistent with keeping up with the posts. There seems to be an ebb and flow with me on just about everything I do – or try to do. So I do hope that I haven’t lost your interests in reading anything I have to say.

I also feel that if I blog all the time that you’ll be bored with it. Not to mention that I don’t want my posts to feel rushed or to be just “filler”. I want them to actually be productive. To mean something – both you myself and to you, my good people. So maybe I write shorter posts but more often, instead of just super-long ones every few weeks.

I wish I could say that I have a process down. I don’t. I wish I could tell you that I would or even could make more frequent shorter posts. But we all know that I’m not succinct. I apparently don’t even know what that word means most of the time.

I guess that means I was destined to be a writer.

But I will endeavor (no promises) to be more consistent and check in more often than I have of late.

So…

What do you do when your inspiration begins to wane? How do you keep up the motivation?

I shouldn’t have to rely on other people’s support in order to keep going but I’m finding that my attitude, inspiration and motivation all seem to be at levels in great proportion to the support and inspiration I receive. If it tapers off, I somewhat do as well.

And that scares me.

People’s interests change. As does their attitude. They also have their own lives.

I hate that I have to rely on others to be successful, especially for those very reasons but as I said in one of my very first posts – I need YOU!

I am struggling of late. My motivation is lacking. I can’t explain why really. What specifically it is that is making me less enthusiastic? What causes this ebb and flow of my feelings?

I can’t explain it. And I hate that.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come so far, sure. I’m happy I haven’t given up. You bet. But there are times when I just feel…

Meh.

That’s the best word that comes to mind. And I hate it. I hate it because I feel like I’m letting myself down, and you all down. And why can’t I just always feel motivated? The support I have received hasn’t gone away; it just ebbs and flows, causing my moods to do so as well.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming anyone for those ebbs and flows. As I said, you have your own lives. And I shouldn’t have to rely on anyone else to keep going on this journey. To keep fighting. To not give up.

But I’d be lying to myself if I said that I didn’t need you. Didn’t need that support. Because after all these weeks and months – it’s painfully obvious that I do.

So I will make mistakes. I will falter. But I won’t give up. And I won’t stop trying.

We human. Shit happens. Keep on…keeping on.

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And chill.

Till we meet again. Hopefully soon.

Be kind. Be gentle. Be loved. Be safe.

Love,

Dani