Happy New Year!
A little late, I know. My apologies. But the sentiment is still the same:
I wish you all a safe, joyous and prosperous 2016!
I wish I could give you some great pearls of wisdom for how to succeed in 2016 in whatever you want to do, but alas, if I knew how to do that, I wouldn’t still be struggling with this weight loss journey. All I can suggest is that you keep fighting. Keeping trying. Don’t give up. Find a reason (or many) to keep plugging along until you’re successful!
You can do it.
WE can do it.
The best thing that I can hope for is for another year. Another year of life. Another year of hope. Another year of not giving up. So I’m grateful for the first 12 days to the new year, and I hope for 353 more. And then so many more after that.
I know I get into moments of feeling like I’m failing. Of maybe giving up. I’ve even said in the past that I’m tired to trying; that I need to be doing. The problem is that my “doing” isn’t always successful. In fact, it’s fucking hard. I said that because I was tired of trying for so long and no getting anywhere, so clearly it seemed that “trying” wasn’t working for me. But then “doing” didn’t work all that well either.
Thankfully I get over that quickly and I don’t give up. But I have felt that way. Often. As I’m sure many who struggle with just about anything often feel as well. Some days it just seems everything is against you. Nothing is going right and it seems so much easier to just give up and go to your “happy place” even if that happy place isn’t a very healthy place for you.
It’s especially frustrating when something happens is out of your control. It’s hard enough to deal with things where you’re the personal responsible for your situation, but it’s worse when that “me against the world” feeling is because of someone else’s actions (or inactions).
I was in that place recently. Sure, initially it was my actions that placed me in such a precarious place. But when it should have been over and done with, the actions, or in this case the inactions, of someone else caused me years and years of stress, heartache, fear and general hatred for having put me in such a place. And on purpose.
I’ve said many times before that it is no one’s fault by my own – by my actions or inactions – that I’m where I am today with my weight. And while I understand this, I’m still working very hard to forgive myself and move on because there’s nothing I can do about the past. And I need to concentrate on the future. A future that I hope will for many more years.
So, I’m not talking about giving up on weight loss. Because as I said at the beginning of this journey, this isn’t about losing weight. This is about getting and staying healthy. And there is a difference.
So what’s the answer? How does one not give up and keep trying? How does one fight and give it all they have, even when they feel like giving up?
Again, I don’t have all the answers on this. I just know that for me, there is just too much to live for. Whether it be family and friends, or even my furbabies, there is so much more life to be lived. There is so much I haven’t experienced and want to. There are so many things I love and have interests in. So many books I haven’t yet read. So many books I haven’t yet written. So many places I haven’t visited, things I haven’t yet learned, and so many people I haven’t met yet.
There is just too much that still need to do. And maybe I won’t ever become a hugely successful writer. And maybe I won’t ever fall in love again. And just maybe I won’t leave a mark on this world where anyone will remember my name long after I’m gone. But I’d like the change to see what else I can do.
My mind is a vast space, filled with grand ideas and it constantly needs nourishment. And so does my body.
And it’s for this reason that I’m staring this new year, not with Resolutions that I likely won’t stick to, but more so, to keep going on the journey I started last year and to not give up. No matter what.
I read the occasional blog or article on weight loss, staying motivated, not giving up etc, and just with all of the “helpful” information on “how to lose weight”, there is so much information out there that it becomes ridiculously overwhelming. Eat this. Don’t eat that. 10 foods you should avoid at all costs. 10 foods you should eat every day. Bananas are good for you one day, and bad the next. Hell, even being on a carb limit of 20 carbs for a snack and realizing you can’t eat a damn apple…well it’s any wonder I even have any brain cells left.
Despite all of this information, the fact that there is too much of it and often contradictory because, you know, everyone’s an expert, for me it always comes back to one thing.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I know what I need to DO to lose weight:
Eat better. Eat less. Exercise more.
Not rocket science folks.
And it frustrates the hell out of me when I see all those articles and such declaring they know something you don’t. Sure, I can’t propose to understand the inner workings of the body and what a carb versus a protein does to your body, but the general “gist” of what is good or bad is pretty clear.
I’ve discussed lack of motivation before. Particularly after so many years and moments of shame, embarrassment and/or frustration that “reminds” me that I’m obese. Any of those moments should have been enough but they weren’t. And that’s the biggest flummoxing thing I can’t wrap this hamster brain of mine around. Why?
Why? Why? Why???
But I will tell you that one of my biggest problems is that I over-think, over-analyze and over-just-about-everything. All. The. Damn. Time. So it should be of no surprise to me or anyone that I find all the information “out there” to be mind-boggling and overwhelming. And I’m not doing myself any favors by adding to it by trying to break it down into compartmentalizing bits.
Eat better. Eat less. Exercise more.
Got it? Great. Let’s do this.
So to start this new incentivized smart plan, begging this week – tomorrow actually – I will be going to work out with my buddy Kimmy three times a week – weather and lack-of-illness/time permitting. She lives in an apartment complex that has a fitness center and she’s invited me to use it, and will join me. Given the weather isn’t always nice around here, I have made plans to do Wii exercises on any days we can’t meet to work out as the roads to Kimmy’s are steep and slippery (as unfortunately her husband found out just yesterday when he slid into the car in front of him). She suggested it so I don’t have to subject myself to dealing with other people in a big gym like Plant Fitness.
So technically we’re not considering ourselves January People. 😉
But it’s a start.
Lastly, one blog I did read that I found very entertaining and well written is called
Why People Suck at Getting Healthy and What to Do About It.
Particularly his comment “‘Should’ is a defeatist word.” relating to people who say they should do something, as opposed to actually doing it. It’s a good read. Check it out here:
Well that’s it for now. I actually have two other blog posts already started – one I’ll have you know that I started before Christmas the day after I posted my last one. I had the intention of posting it before I left for the holidays but I got too busy. And I felt completely out of sorts through the holidays – not being on my normal schedule with work etc.
So I’m back. Look out!
Blessings to all. I’ve missed you.