I wish I could say that everything I write here will be great pearls of wisdom but I’d be fooling us all. All I can hope to do is put down my thoughts in a somewhat coherent way that doesn’t bore anyone to death, but also actually helps me on this journey.
I won’t lie. I have some terrible habits of never finishing things. My psychotherapist (yep I see one of those as well – more on that in the future) says that it’s not that I’m lazy, lack the intelligence or ability to do so but simply: I’m bored. Stressing that my mind is extremely intelligent (to which I question all the time), Dr. S insists that there is little that keeps my interests for very long. When I was a child, the “in” thing was to have a diary. I’d manage to do that for a day or two and then stop. I might pick it up several more times but eventually I’d give up. So the hardest part for me on the journey may not even be losing the weight, but more so just trying to track it all.
So today is Sunday. Day three of an extra-long weekend for me since Monday is Labor Day and I took Friday off as a vacation day. I slept in after going to bed later than usual – reading. ‘natch. As part of my usual Sunday morning ritual I weighed myself.
I’m happy to say that this journey is starting on a proper foot as I’ve lost 1.5 pounds in the past week.
Now, this is normally where I would say things like, “I know most of you don’t think that’s very much.” or “When you have as much to lose as I do, that’s just so insignificant” etc. But I’m not going to do that.
On thing I have been working hard on of late, no matter how I feel, is to stop being so negative – about myself. It’s been so easy and came so naturally for me to put myself down. Often as a pre-cursor to what I thought other people were already thinking. So going back to that “intelligent brain” of mine, it was very easy for me to constantly berate myself for everything that I perceived as a failure – no matter how big or small. So much so that even the most insignificant thing was made into a mountain.
So as I travel through this journey, one thing I will try my damnest to do is to stop being negative, particularly about myself.
That means, right now, this is what I’m thinking:
- I am very proud of myself for the loss!
- I’m not going to sit and worry about how much I have to lose because it can be too daunting!
- I will make 5 pounds my first goal and already am nearly 1/3 the way there!
- Me and my “intelligent brain” are going to get through this – together – because we are unstoppable when we want to be.
There. How’s that?
So today I’m going to do a few chores before it gets too hot (exercise), plan out what I’m going to eat today and tomorrow, and just be grateful for everything I have in my life:
- a new day that I’m alive
- my family and friends whom I love more than anything
- my two kitties, even if they are epic failures at being mousers
- my faith, hope and belief in myself
Blessings and much love to all.
PS: Please go to my very first post entitled “Another Journey Begins…” to get more details about the purpose of this particular blog. 🙂